Aunt Grace's Six Rules To Live By

For those of you who don't know me, I don't have an Aunt Grace. This women isn't my aunt. She isn't even someone I've ever met. But I read a story in which she gave six rules to live by and it was very comforting.

Let's take a quick step back. I'm reading this book called "Chicken Soup for the Single's Soul." I'm single. I've been single for a while. I'm okay with it. I have friends who can't live or survive without being a relationship. They jump from relationship to relationship with every Nicole, Sarah, and Brittany they can find. That's not me. I'm more about quality; not quantity. I don't just jump into a relationship with someone because frankly, I just don't want too. I would love to find someone who loves me and start a family and yadda yadda yadda but I am not dying to find someone.

I'm perfectly happy being single. I can do what I want with who I want and not have to worry about anyone else wondering what I'm doing or vise-versa. I am free to live my life. If I want to pick up and move to California tomorrow, there is no one here to stop me. Some people think that's sad; I think it's life. I am a free spirit. I always have been. I am willing to work at a relationship with someone I care about, but that's not my number one concern right now. My number one concern is me. I am working on becoming more healthier; mentally and physically. I am working out more, eating better, and reading more. My other concern lately is finding a job. After I succeed at these two, then I can work on the whole dating thing. But if someone comes along in the meantime, I'm not going to be upset either.

Anyway, back to Aunt Grace. Her six simple rules were this:
1.Do something for someone else.
2. Do something for yourself.
3. Do something I don't want to do that needs doing.
4. Do a physical exercise.
5. Do a mental exercise.
6. Do an original prayer that includes counting my blessings.


Those are pretty simple demands. I like doing things for other people. I like the positive response and the look of happiness on their face for actually taking time out of my day to think of them. I am starting to do more for myself. I'm the one I forget about most. I would go to the ends of the Earth to help someone I care about; but I'm the last person to do something for me. I have a few ideas about some things that need to get done and I am working on it. Physical exercise = done. 5 mile run today. I work out now like 4-6 times a week. Mental exercise, I'm reading more. I'm planning on going back to school for my Master's or my MBA or something of that sort so got that covered as well. Plus, I like to write. That seems to be something that calms my nerves and helps me to focus. Do an original prayer that includes counting my blessings? This is gonna be "hell on wheels." I'm not religious by any means. Me yelling "Jesus Christ" is the closest thing you will find to prayer. I can though, sit around and clear my mind and be thankful for the things that I do have in life. I could take some time out of my day and be thankful. If I have time to read about which celebrity couple is getting divorced now, I can stop for a minute and be thankful for the things, family, friends, and accomplishments I have.

Christmas is coming. So now might be the perfect time to start focusing on things that I am thankful for. And this is also the time of year for giving. I have some ideas about what I can do to help out. Every little bit counts. I haven't volunteered my time in a while and that is something I used to do all the time. I could really get back into doing that again; even if it just a part-time basis.

I was talking with my dad's girlfriend Mel last night and she gave me some great information about going back to school. I found out that I might be able to get to go for not as much as I thought it would cost me due to unemployment. Apparently, they like when you do things to better yourself. I'm okay with that. Maybe I can be professionally unemployed for the rest of my life. Just kidding. I'd get bored of that eventually. I do though wanna go back to school. I like learning. I'm good at learning. And having a higher degree can never hurt. Nothing is set in stone though. I need to see what unemployment says first because I don't have the money to drop another six figures to go back to school. One day at a time. That's all I can ask for.

I'll let you all know how these rules turn out over the next week or so and if I find they are actually making a difference.

Coloring Books & Crayons

Negative 3. Seriously? Week two, the "dreaded" week two of workout/diet week and I lose another 3 pounds? I am the happiest kid right now. And the fact that I am able to do this during the holiday season is making me even more thankful.

The weather needs to start getting colder or else I am a non-believer that Christmas is actually coming. It's been like 55-60 since Thanksgiving. Very strange weather we are having. I guess that is global warming at it's finest.

I'm excited because I am going out for the first time tonight in a long time. I have been so focused on getting in shape and looking for a job that I forgot what it was like to have a social life. So for tonight, I am putting everything behind me and going to Hoboken with some of my softball team. It is going to get rowdy tonight, I can just feel it.

I wish the job hunt was going as well as the weight loss but I guess I need to fight one battle at a time. Accept small victories and move on. I am at least getting hits on my resume so I know the right job will come along soon. I am thankful for that. There is a job waiting for me, I just need to find it.

On a more emotional note, keep my Aunt Doreen in your prayers. She is in the hospital and isn't doing well. She is an amazing woman who has overcome so much. She has a mental disability but she has never let that stop her. I am actually kind of jealous of how strong of a person and fighter she really is. She is someone I look up to dearly and I wish her nothing but the best in this fight. I keep thinking about the good times I had with her. When I was a little kid, I would color with her. She loved to color. Coloring books and crayons made her the happiest. She would always sit outside my Grandma's house on the front porch and color, for hours. She was always so excited to show you what she got for Christmas. I always bought her coloring books and to see the look on her face when she saw them was just priceless. She loved the company you gave her.  Anyone who would sit outside and color with her would be lucky to spend the time with her that I was able too.

She got to do more in her life then most people I know. Since I can remember, she was always going on field trips and going to activities with her friends. She was part of so many groups and clubs, that she never have down time it seemed. She went Camp Hope a lot, which was in the same town I grew up in. She would always tell me about her fun adventures whether it was bowling, coloring, or just going out with her friends. She's one amazing human being and I love her with all my heart.

A Negative Isn't Always A Bad Thing

Negative 4.

That's what I saw today when I got on the scale. I lost four pounds in one week. That is unheard of. What does this mean? Maybe I finally have a grip on this whole losing weight thing. Or maybe, something just clicked this week and allowed me to mentally and physically earn those four pounds. I'm doing it the right way this time and so hopefully, I can keep this weight off. I am making sure to eat better, exercise, and just make smarter decisions. I know that I can't give up everything I love, that would be a false statement to make. But in moderation, I can still live a healthier life style and enjoy  myself.

All together, since college, I've lost 30 lbs. I've got about twenty more to go and I will be set. My problem in college is that I gained so much weight my senior year because of drinking all the time, eating fast food, and not exercising. That is a look I never want to see again. I look at old pictures and it disgusts me to know I even let myself get like that.

I am more realistic now then I was back then. I know that I am not going to lose four pounds a week every week. Number one, that would kill me physically and number two, that isn't even healthy. Everywhere I read said 1-2 pounds a week is the max you should lose so your body doesn't go into shock/starvation mode. I am also lifting weights, and muscle weighs more than fat, so I also know that there may be some weeks where i don't lose anything or even gain. But as long as my clothes fit better and I am looking physically better, I could really care less what the scale says. The scale doesn't define me.

I also know that it is easy to fall off the horse on dieting. Lucky for me though, I have a couple friends who are also working on making themselves healthier. I know that I can turn to them when I am having a rough week or when I am feeling down about this transformation and they will be there for me. When I say, I am working on making myself healthier over dieting, it just sounds better. In reality, I rather be healthy than skinny.

Time to get myself in gear. Have a good weekend.

Embracing The Week

Happy Thanksgiving to all. Hope everyone had their fair share of turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, ham, biscuits, gravy, cranberry sauce, stuffing, etc etc. I know I had my fair share of ham and stuffing! My two favorite items on the menu. Hopefully none of you became too intoxicated today.

It has been a good day. I was able to see a lot of my family and just relax today. I watched my Dallas Cowboys beat the Miami Dolphins with a field goal by Bailey with three seconds left on the clock to give Dallas a 20-19 win. That score was too close for comfort. I was expecting Dallas to lose. They didn't play to their potential and in cases they like, they almost deserve to lose.

My Nittany Lions of Penn State beat the Buckeyes of Ohio State @ Ohio State. That is a great feeling! I made sure to pick at my cousin because he loves his OSU and I love my PSU.

My younger cousin Kellyann got married on Saturday. Congrats to Kellyann and her husband Jorge! Love you guys. It was such a great wedding. My date was amazing, Ms. Gen. We had a great time and had lots of food and drinks. We danced our faces off and Gen even showed some of the women a new dance move that they took too very well. Love the chipmunk!

The job hunt is going....sort of. I have applied for over a hundred job in the last few days. Hopefully something will break soon and someone will call me. I understand its fourth quarter so I may not hear anything til after the new year. I'm hoping before that though because I am starting to go stir crazy without a job. I have faith though that I am going to find the perfect job for me and I will be ready to work my butt off once I get it.

Speaking of working my butt off, I have been exercising like a crazy man. I haven't lost any weight but I am shifting it. I am doing a lot more weight lifting then I have done in the past and hopefully this time, I will keep it all off once it's gone. My clothes are starting to fit better so I know I'm doing something correct. One day at a time is what I keep telling myself. Rome wasn't built in a day. This kind of stuff takes time and I have been celebrating small victories to help me get to the day where I will be happy with how I look physically.

I'm in high spirits lately. Let's hope this lasts and it's not just because Christmas is coming. Haha.

Enough for now...have a good night everyone and hope you all enjoyed your Turkey Day.

Who Are You Really Angry With?

For anyone that doesn't know me, I am a controversial person. That is to say the very least. I don't care if I hurt someones feelings or offend them. When I have something to say, I learned to speak up and say what I feel. This didn't happen til I was at the end of my high school career. I used to let people walk all over me and say whatever they wanted and I never fought back. I never defended myself and all I wanted in high school was to be accepted. I had many people that I talked to, but few I could call friends. It took a lot for me to grow out of this but I did. I guess you could thank the people that picked on me for me becoming such a sarcastic guy.

Also, for anyone that doesn't know, I am a PENN STATE graduate. The proudest moment of my life was first, being accepted to Penn State and second, for graduating from there. I bleed blue and white, I sing my alma mater with 110,000 brothers and sisters at Beaver Stadium. I danced for those kids at Hershey who need it.

Unless you live under a rock, you know about everything involving Jerry Sandusky, the defensive coordinator from Penn State. I get very annoyed when the media and people keep referring to the Penn State Scandal and Penn State raped little boys and Penn State did this. PENN STATE DID NOT DO ANY OF THIS! The man who did all of this allegedly, is named Jerry Sandusky. It was not Joe Paterno, nor was it me, or any of my friends. When people mention Penn State did this, you are talking about my friends and family and myself. That is not true. What we did do as a University, is raise over $400,000 dollars for RAINN (rape abuse incest national network). We held a candlelight vigil for the abused victims and pray for the best for them. We also stand behind Joe Paterno. He was scapegoated by the media because he is the legend and his name would sell more papers and make more people tune into the news. That is unfair to him. He did what he was supposed to do in this situation. I am going to write what Joe Pa did do as opposed to what others did not do and you can see, if you don't already, how I can defend Joe Paterno and also can feel for the victims in this scandal as well.

Mike McQueery, the graduate assistant, walked in to the shower and allegedly saw Jerry Sandusky horsing around and performing oral sex on a minor. McQueery walked out of the shower and called his father to tell him what he saw. The next day, McQueery called Joe Paterno to tell him of what he saw. Paterno then set up a meeting between McQueery, Curly and Schultz. Curly is the athletic director of Penn State and Schultz is the VP of Business and Finance at Penn State. McQueery told them everything he saw. At this point, Joe Pa had also told the head of Unviersity Police about the alligations by McQueery. Curly and Schultz had spoke to Graham Spanier, our President, about what had happened. After that, there was no further action taken. No one from Univeristy Police talked to McQueery about the incident. In the Grand Jury report, McQueery's testimony, which defends Joe Paterno, was considered credible. Curly and Schultz's testimonies were not credible.

Now here are my thoughts on the situation. If McQueery, who was 28 at the time, saw this going on, why didn't he 1. Knock Sandusky out and take the child? 2. Call 911 and inform them on what's going on? Other than that, he told Paterno about what he saw. So now Paterno has "hearsay" evidence about a sex abuse scandal. Paterno, could not have gone to the police when Curly and Schultz decided to do nothing. The police would have asked Paterno if he saw it or heard it. He would have answered 'no.' The police can not go off of hearsay evidence to investigate a crime. Other people then said, well why didn't Joe Pa go to the media? I answer that with, because the media does not but cause problems. If Joe Pa would have gone to the media and these alligations turned out to be false, Joe Pa could have been sued by Sandusky for libel. Paterno did what he was morally and legally obligated to do. He told his superior and his superior's superior. He set up a meeting with the three of them to figure out what was going on. Joe Pa actually told someone, much more than I can say for Curly or Schultz.

By law in PA, when sexual alligations are made on a University or Institution, the head of the institution, in this case Graham Spanier, has 48 hours to report it either verbally or by written statement. Spanier did not report this. So, if you are going to fire someone, why was it Joe Pa? Oh right, because like I said before, Joe Pa's name and legacy would sell more papers and get more national media attention. No! No! No! You fire Graham Spanier, for legally not fulfilling his responsibility as the President of Penn State. You also fire Curly and Schultz for not doing anything either! Yet Curly is on administrative leave and Schultz resigned after this B.O.T. meeting.

I understand the Board of Trustees wanted to take action. Because of media hype, the wrong action was taken. Joe Pa was fired, by phone!!! By phone?! Are you kidding me? This man coached for 47 years at Penn State. He donated over 4 million dollars to this university. There is a library and an ice cream named after him. You don't have the decency to fire him face-to-face? That is childish and unfair. Also, Board of Trustees, if you are going to "clean house" because that is the right thing to do, um, you actually need to clean house! ALL OF IT! You would then need to get rid of not only Joe Pa, and Spanier (who has sinced resigned), but you also need to get rid of Curly, Schultz and McQueery. McQueery is on administrative leave and is in "protective custody." He, along with Curly are still on the PSU payroll b/c Curly is on admin leave as well. That doesn't make sense either. McQueery I understand taking leave but Curly should have either resigned or been let go.

I feel for these victims in this sex abuse scandal. If these alligations turn out to be true, because in America, you are innocent until proven guilty, I hope Sandusky rots in hell. He deserves anything and everything he will get. Sandusky is the real criminal here, not Joe Pa and certainly not Penn State. So I would appreciate it, if the media and people would stop saying that, by proxy, I had anything to do with it.

As always, all feedback, is greatly appreciated. As long as it's written in a mature way, even if you disagree, be educated about what you are saying before you say it.

A Change Would Do Me Good.

It has been a while since I last posted here. My life has been a little hectic lately. To start off, my good friends Tom and Kait got married! Hooray! Congrats guys.

We had a surprise party for my mom's birthday last weekend. I got her the best gift ever. I bought her a four-legged furry friend named Bett and she is the cutest dog ever. She is a brindle mix and she is the most lovable character ever. She loves to sleep with mom until she leaves for work, then she curls up in bed with me; it's too cute. It reminds me that I need a life.

Softball is over too. We finished in the top half in our division. We won the first round of playoffs, which was the only upset of the day! Go us! But we lost the second round. It's okay, we made it one step further than last year so that's a success in my book! Besides, there's always next year.

The job hunt is going no where. Everyone around me is getting these great jobs and moving on with their lives. I am still stuck here, applying like crazy and not getting anywhere. It is starting to really get frustrating but I realize that eventually my turn will come and I will get a job. But until then, it is still very annoying to not be able to work. I see all these postings from companies and I apply and apply and most of the time, I don't even recieve a call from them. If you aren't looking to hire someone, then don't post the job. I am qualified for the jobs I apply for and I have the ambition to work. I hate sitting at home collecting unemployment. For one, unemployment is not enough to even live off of, I can barely pay the few bills I have. Second, I didn't go to college to sit at home. I really need a change.

At this point, I am even thinking about moving out of Jersey to find a job. The economy and job market has to be better than it is in the Northern Jersey/NYC area. It might be better for me to start off somewhere new and start getting my life together. I'm not afraid to move to a new place; I've got a great personality and I make friends easily. I just need a change.

A change would do me good.

Bang! Was That A Gunshot or the Economy Crashing?

So it's official, Muammar Gaddafi is dead; shot in the head yesterday. This is a day for Libyans to celebrate. In my opinion, I would call him the Saddam or Osama of his country. He took over by force, pretty much ruined the country and it wasn't until a civil war in Libya that he was overthrown. He turned Libya into a parish state by ruining their economy and taking on chemical weapons. Put a check next to the good guys' name and let's move on in this War on Terror.

I'm going to be a bit more topical for this blog so if this doesn't interest you, stop reading now.

So the War on Terror. I heard people complaining that Obama was taking the troops out of the Middle East. A few common threads I heard were "We aren't finishing what we started..." My response, as usual, SERIOUSLY? How many Americans died out there trying to protect our country? A lot is the answer; my neighbor and childhood friend being one of them. This is a never ending war. The war on terror. Whether its Osama, Hussein, Gaddafi, or anyone else, there is always someone else that will step up. Just look at our history; Hitler, Napoleon, Genghis Khan (look up that one if you don't know who he is). The fighting isn't going to stop, it's human nature to fight. There has to come a point though where enough is enough and we cut our losses and go. December 31st is the deadline, let's keep it that way. Happy New Year to all and let's refocus our efforts somewhere else....say the economy?

Oh the economy, how you had to go down just as I left college. As Facebook should say, "Christopher does not like this" with a thumbs down preceding it. We can not blame Obama for the economy being bad; people who say that annoy me. It took George Bush eight years, count 'em, eight years to ruin our economy due to war and other political issues. The economy wasn't destroyed in a day, it won't be fixed in a day. It may not even be fixed by whoever takes office next term since America seems to be completely against Obama. Real results don't happen overnight, they take time. You can't lose 100lbs over night, so what makes you think that a downward spiral of our economy, mostly taken on by war, which we are still in, would change drastically so quickly? And when you have a Government that shoots down everything the President wants to do, how are we supposed to get anywhere? Let's just play rock, paper, scissors and whoever wins receives the final decision. We would at least get somewhere that way.

One thing I am hearing though is that companies don't want to hire people because they want tax breaks. Okay, I get that. But if you listen to the news and pay attention and do your homework, you would learn that the Government is giving tax breaks to those who do hire. Bill Clinton went on the news and said it himself. They are pushing the hiring of people so that people will spend money again because they will have it. That will bring up the economy. Hire People = People Spend = Economy goes up. It's a circle people. So, let's go out there, hire all these college kids who are broke and have Sallie Mae calling them everyday harassing them about where their 1,000 a month student loan payment is, and let's get the ball rolling (Sallie Mae has me on speed dial). I'm sure every college kid would love a job right now making a respectable amount of money for their level of experience. Sorry Craigslist, I am not accepting a job for 8.00 an hour when I have a degree that, at that rate, will take me 250 years to pay off. Just not happening.

The Sound of Letting Go

The sound of letting go...not always something to be sad about. I am saying goodbye to the old me. The one who feels bad when he shouldn't, the one who let's go when he should really fight, and the one who is afraid to stand up and say what he feels because he's tired of being put down.

Like everyone, I do care what people think of me. I want to be liked, loved, respected. But honestly, if you aren't one of those people who can use any of those words to describe me, then I really don't care about you. I'm tired of surrounding myself with people that don't deserve my time. I could be using that wasted time to spend on my real friends or most of all, myself; a person I neglect a lot. I have too much life to concern myself with stuff that I can't control. I have too much spirit to back down from battles that I know I can win and even if I can't, I need to at least put in the fight. And I have too much respect for myself to let people walk all over me or get away with trashing me. I'm not ashamed of myself and because you feel bad about your own life, don't take it out on me.

Maybe I'm finally feeling like this because I know that I am transitioning into my new apartment more and more each day and I'm letting go of the past that wasn't good for me. As the seasons change, so am I. Out with the old, in with the new. The first step is always the hardest. And now that that is underway, I can start focusing on bigger and better projects to give myself that extra "push" that I need to succeed. Nothing momentous was done overnight and this is a journey that will last a lifetime. I just need to remember to breathe and take it one day at a time.

The sound of letting go...maybe it's a maturity thing.

Welcome to the Escape

Day one.
Starting from scratch.

It's raining out, making it a good day to do some writing. I haven't sat down and wrote anything in a long time. I feel like I've lost myself a little bit because of it. Today starts a new day and we'll see how i goes from here.

I have a job interview tomorrow. Thank god. It is with a public relations firm for an account coordinator position. It would be great to get this job featuring I've been unemployed since August. I am going a little stir crazy since I've been home. This job would be good because I would get back to writing more and really sharpen my brain skills. I feel like my brain has turned to mush since I haven't really been doing much about it. That is why I figured this blog would be the best thing to help keep me "in the game."

Like I mentioned before, this is day one. Starting from scratch. If you know me, you know I've had a weight issue my whole life. I lost weight, I gained it back, I lost it, gained it back, etc. This time has been different, I have kept most of it off. I still need to lose about 20 more lbs though. I feel like I need a wake up call because I keep saying I'll eat better and I never do it. I still fall back into my old habits and the only thing that is going to get me is unhealthy again. I have been good though about working out and trying to exercise between the gym, running, and my softball team. I figured if I write it down, I have to look at it and know that I'm serious about getting into shape. One day at a time. Today is day one.